The Divorce Strategy No One Talks About—Why You Should Take a Pause
As we reflect on the year’s most powerful conversations on the We Chat Divorce podcast, one episode stands out for its ability to shift perspectives and empower those navigating divorce. “The Divorce No One Talks About: How to Win by Taking a Pause” with family law expert Susan Guthrie remains as timely and impactful now as when we first released it.
Here’s why the concept of pausing resonates so deeply—and why it might be the most important advice for anyone beginning their divorce journey.
Why Pausing Matters in Divorce
Divorce often begins in a storm of emotions—fear, anger, confusion, and uncertainty. In such an emotionally charged environment, the instinct to act quickly can lead to decisions that exacerbate conflict, drain resources, and prolong the process.
As Susan Guthrie explained, pausing is not inaction—it’s a strategy. Taking time to reflect, process, and plan gives you control over your choices, setting the stage for a more peaceful and productive divorce.
What Does Taking a Pause Look Like?
- Emotional Processing
Divorce is one of life’s most stressful experiences, second only to the loss of a loved one. Before making major decisions, give yourself space to acknowledge and process your emotions. This helps ensure that your choices are guided by clarity rather than fear or anger. - Assessing Your Needs
Taking a pause allows you to evaluate what you truly need—both emotionally and practically. It’s a chance to consider your goals, gather resources, and build a support system. - Building the Right Team
While hiring an attorney may seem like the logical first step, Susan emphasizes the importance of assembling a well-rounded team that includes financial professionals, mediators, and divorce coaches. Starting with the right professionals can set a cooperative tone for the entire process. - Breaking the Conflict Cycle
Reactivity often leads to escalation, creating a “conflict cycle” that benefits no one except attorneys. By pausing, you can approach decisions thoughtfully, reducing adversarial behavior and encouraging cooperation.
The Benefits of a Forward-Focused Approach
Litigation tends to dwell on the past—what went wrong, who’s to blame, and what’s owed. In contrast, mediation and collaborative divorce prioritize the future. By taking a pause, you position yourself to choose processes that help you move forward, rather than remaining stuck in conflict.
As Susan shared, every decision made cooperatively—no matter how small—builds a foundation for future collaboration. This approach not only saves time and money but also helps preserve relationships, particularly when children are involved.
A Real-Life Example
In the episode, Susan shared the story of a client who chose to pause after initiating a divorce. Instead of rushing to hire a litigator, she gave her spouse time to process the decision. This thoughtful approach prevented an adversarial escalation and allowed them to pursue mediation, ultimately saving emotional and financial resources for both parties.
Our End-of-Year Reflection
As we revisit this conversation, we’re reminded of how often the simple act of pausing transforms the divorce journey. Whether you’re considering divorce, in the midst of it, or looking back on your experience, the power of intentional action cannot be overstated.
Resources to Help You Take the Pause
- Free Download: How to Talk to Your Spouse About Mediation
- Top 10 Questions to Ask a Mediator
- Explore More Episodes: We Chat Divorce Podcast
Looking Ahead
As we prepare for the new year, we’re excited to bring fresh insights and resources to help you navigate divorce with clarity and confidence. Stay tuned for the next evolution of the We Chat Divorce podcast in 2025!
Until then, revisit this powerful episode and give yourself the gift of the pause—it could make all the difference.
Listen Now: The Divorce No One Talks About: How to Win by Taking a Pause
Empowering you to take control of your divorce journey, one step at a time.
At My Divorce Solution, we’re here to help you turn fear into focus and knowledge into power. Learn more at mydivorcesolution.com
