In Spite of Your Divorce – You Deserve to Be Happy

  February 9, 2017

Are you happy? 

You may realize how strong and special you are not in spite of your divorce but because of your divorce.

Why is that?  Our culture sees the ideal family and marriage from the premise that you stay together no matter what. We define a family as a mom and dad married, with or without children. Some even add the dog and white picket fence to make it all seem perfect. 

In my lifetime stemming 50 years at this point, I have seen a lot of things change, advance, get better, faster, smarter, and more efficient.

So why is it that many people feel trapped in an unhappy marriage? Why do we look at divorce as a death or the ending to a happy life we dreamt of, or as something that will ruin our children?

divorce happy

Perception is the most likely answer in my opinion. It seems that until we find our true inner happiness, we worry about how the world around us perceives us more than we consider our own happiness. I admit, I used to think like that until one day I realized I rather be alone with my children and happy, than living in a beautiful large house with a husband and a marriage that wasn’t making me happy. Sure we had all the material things 20 years later, but what we didn’t have was the patience, trust and internal happiness that we all yearn for.

The perception around us made it seem different, and if we had established better communication from the beginning it may have been true, but often times that doesn’t happen. For me, it was too late for us to change, and our paths ended up going separate ways.

But I believe it was meant to be that way! How else could I help so many others had I not experienced divorce for myself? It is not in spite of divorce that I am living a life of endless possibilities and experiencing a life time of dreams coming true, but it is because of divorce that I am able to do this.

It seems every week I meet women who stay in unhappy marriages because they simply don’t believe they deserve to be happy.

Their self-esteem is very low, and they are controlled by their spouse and the perception of others. I want you to know, we all deserve to be happy, and at the end of the day only you can make yourself happy!

Do it for yourself, and all those who love you will also benefit from your happiness!

Catherine Shanahan is a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst at My Divorce Solution who partners with Karen Chellew, LL. My Divorce Solution is committed to helping divorcing couples develop a transparent plan via a three-phase process to optimize the outcome of their divorce. Phase 1 is the development of the financial portrait.
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