Pink, Red or Grey this Valentine’s Day?

  February 6, 2015

Not 50 Shades of Grey but the Grey Divorce!

I remember thinking to myself, “I’d rather be single and alone then stay married feeling lonely all the time.” And I wondered “Am I the only woman out there who feels this way?”

Well, I am happy to say, I am not crazy! There is an actually trend called “The Grey Divorce”! It refers to the increasing trend of divorce among older couples in long-lasting marriages. Here are some thoughts on why this is happening.

It sounds sad, I know, but the truth is we change after 15, 25 or 30 years and we often find we have nothing in common with the person we’re married to. In the past this problem often solved itself: marriages ended sooner, due to shorter life expectancies and the death of a spouse before 30 or 40 years of marriage. Today, we find that “happily ever after” isn’t working. Another contributor is the fact that women have established financial independence over the years, and feel they can take care of themselves; their children are grown and they want to live a life that makes them happy.

According to a study from AARP, here are some interesting statistics:

  • 66% of females initiate divorce, compared with 41% of older males.
  • 72% of divorces happen in your 40’s
  • 22% of divorces happen in your 50’s
  • 4% of divorces happen in your 60’s

Even though the Grey Divorce is the answer for some, it still isn’t easy. Women harbor a lot of guilt, I know, and still believe their happiness should come after everyone else’s – but that isn’t fair. Here is what is fair: if we divorce and ask for a fair settlement, think of our children’s feelings at all times, but don’t let them supersede our personal happiness, it’s fair to think we can move on to live the life we were meant to live! Even after a 20 year marriage most of us still have over 20 plus years to live! My motto, “Make the Rest of your Life the Best of Your Life!”

My personal recommendation is to consult with a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst first. Why? Because a CDFA can help you review your financials, provide you clarity on the good and bad of the divorce process, and set you up with a plan, including a recommendation on the advisors you may need on your team!

I like all the colors for Valentine’s Day! Pink, Red and Grey. Remember it’s just another day to appreciate your friends, family and most of all yourself!!

As I always say, do something positive today that makes you smile and move forward in the right direction!!

Happy Valentine’s Day to you all!