New Year. New Divorce. New You. Four Best Practices for 2023.
By Karen Chellew, LL
My Divorce Solution
January 31, 2023
Is divorce on your list of resolutions for 2023?
You know what time it is – New Year, New Me, right? Resolutions and fresh new beginnings are always at the top of the list for the New Year, leading January to be dubbed as the “divorce month.”
Once the decision to leave your marriage has been made the feelings of fear, uncertainty, and guilt commence. You may lay awake at night wondering if the decision you’ve made is the right one, worrying about the collateral effects on the children, trying to make heads or tails of your finances and more. This can result in indecision and leave you languishing in the process.
If your 2023 is starting with divorce, we have four best practices to aid you in gaining clarity and confidence with your decision. Whether you stay or leave, whether you want the divorce or your spouse does, these four practices will serve you well in divorce and many other areas of your life.
Acknowledge Your Feelings
It’s normal to question the effects of your decision as it relates to the well-being of your children, your extended family, and your friends. It’s important to remember you don’t have to figure it all out today. The only thing you need to do today is acknowledge how you feel about leaving your marriage.
The only person who knows if this decision is right for you is YOU. Trust that when you acknowledge how you feel and you accept those feelings, you’ll be able to make the best decision for you. Once you are clear about your feelings and your decision, then you can explore what this will mean for your family. Think of it like an emergency landing situation on an airplane: you need to put on your oxygen mask first before you can assist others.
Get Informed About What’s to Come
One of the biggest reasons divorce is so difficult is we often feel left in the dark about where to start, what’s to come, and what life will look like, feel like, and be like after divorce. It’s imperative to take the time to learn how divorce works, how divorce will impact you financially, and how it will affect your living situation. You might be asking where you can go to find this information, the key steps, and how to prepare for what’s to come emotionally and financially.
Even if you decide to stay in your marriage, it’s important to understand your financial standing. Take the time to gather financial documents such as bank statements, credit card statements, year-end mortgage statements, and tax records from previous years. This is also a good time to do a credit check. Make copies of these documents and store them in a safe place.
Make a plan
Allow yourself to make a plan. Give yourself permission to revise and/or alter your plan as needed. Your plan may become very fluid as you become more informed and acclimated to what divorce may mean for you and your family. This allows you to take one step at a time, removing the fear and anxiety about what your life will look like after divorce if you do decide to leave your marriage. With a plan, you’ll be empowered, informed, and engaged as you interact with your entire divorce team which may include an attorney, mediator, CDFA, CPA, mortgage advisor, realtor etc.
Having the right information about what steps to take, knowing what’s to come in divorce, and gaining clarity about your next steps, will relieve you from a tremendous about of stress and anxiety. At My Divorce Solution, we believe knowledge is power – and in divorce, it is everything!
My Divorce Solution helps clients prepare for divorce with clarity and confidence. Take our Free Financial Portrait Assessment to start your divorce process with clarity today. Allow every day to be a part of your journey that may or may not result in divorce. Whether you decide to leave or stay, you’ll be clear about your feelings, about your finances, and your next steps.