The 10 Truths about Divorce and How I Felt from The Beginning

  January 16, 2017

This is how my journey through divorce began five years ago. I decided to begin blogging to share it with you and to continue sharing a part of my life, a part of my clients lives (no names will be mentioned), and anything else that I feel will help others going through divorce stand strong and realize they are not alone and they will not be defined by divorce and through all the changes #UwillbeOK!

1. The Divorce process is difficult.  You know the saying, If it was easy everyone would do it.  It’s true, divorce rates would be even higher if it was easy.  I can tell you, it’s easier to stay married then get divorced.

2. I was sad for two years.  The first year, I cried every day.  If my kids weren’t around, I cried. I thought my ex would change and fight to get me back. He didn’t. Instead he blamed me for everything, even things I was clueless about, he said hurtful things to me and made up dirty stories that he told to friends and family.

3. I was embarrassed the first time I went to the doctor’s office.  I had to fill out forms and for the first time I checked the box that labeled me, divorced.  That box left me feeling, less than and alone.

4. I have a financial background but I was scared financially.

5. I dreaded going to events.  I was used to going to my children’s school events alone, but it was different as a divorcee. I felt like everyone looked at me differently.

6. I missed my Ex.  Even though we fought often, I was used to involving his reaction into everything I did.

7. I looked into every reaction my kids had and wondered if I was messing them up.

8. I wished the first year of firsts would just come and go. First holiday, birthday etc…

9. I lost a lot of weight, well I liked that.

10. It was sad to realize who your true friends actually are.

So, I realized that my happiness and future income was in my own hands and it scared me. So, when the crying stopped, I decided my motto would be to “make the rest of my life the best of my life!” no matter what….

My business partner, Karen Chellew, will also start blogging to share her personal journey and client experiences as we hope to create a community both locally and nationally where all divorcees have a place to feel connected and empowered to move forward!

Catherine Shanahan is a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst at My Divorce Solution who partners with Karen Chellew, LL. My Divorce Solution is committed to helping divorcing couples develop a transparent plan via a three-phase process to optimize the outcome of their divorce. Phase 1 is the development of the financial portrait.
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