You’re there now, in a situation you didn’t expect or think you would be in, and you’re not sure what to do. You or your partner have spoken the words, “I want a divorce.”
What now? It can be an overwhelming and scary question when you’ve spent time building a life with your partner. You’ve been by yourself before and you can do it again.
Here are our top tips for divorcing moms.
Get Prepared
Unprepared conversations with your spouse or uninformed decisions about representation can be costly mistakes. You don’t want to be discussing the kids, finances, the dog, or the house and jump to a decision because you aren’t prepared. Sit down and think about the discussions and negotiations that are about to come. Think about what it is you want and how you’re going to get there. Consider working with My Divorce Solution to get a Divorce Financial Portrait to outline and plan for the future.
Keep Your Emotions in Check
It’s easy to get overwhelmed and lash out. Pointing blame and panicking is easy but tough decisions need to be made. Decisions made with emotion are never beneficial in the long run. Consider connecting with a divorce coach or therapist to process your feelings and keep your emotions in control. A few strategies we like for staying in emotional control are:
- Take deep breaths
- Use a stress ball
- Know your objectives before each conversation/negotiation and stay on topic
- Don’t let your spouse get under your skin by keeping the objective in mind
- Hold onto why you’re doing this
Don’t Allow Yourself to be Bullied
We often see bullying in divorce when one spouse tries to bully another into making bad financial decisions by threatening to take the kids. Don’t allow your spouse to bully you into making poor financial decisions or thinking you have to sacrifice financial clarity in order to be a good mom.
When you get prepared and keep your emotions clear, it’s easier to stand up to bullying. Be logical, stand your ground, and do what’s best for you and/or your children.
Ask Questions
When going through a divorce it can be confusing and there is going to be a lot you don’t know. Unless you’re a divorce lawyer or you’ve gone through a few divorces this will be a new journey for you. Write down your questions. Keep a journal of your concerns, questions, and conversations with your spouse so you have them when meeting with lawyers or mediators.
When your divorce is final it is final. When your divorce is over is not the time to understand it.
Take Care of Yourself
At the end of the day, you have to ensure you’re doing what’s best for you. Do not rely on your partner to have your best interests in mind and be willing to sacrifice for you. Take care of yourself and reach out for help if you need it.
You Will Be Okay!
My Divorce Solution helps clients save up to 80% on divorce costs with the Divorce Financial Portrait – get started with your free assessment today.
