Divorce Tips for Couples:
Stay in Your Lane with These Communication Tools
Divorce is an emotionally charged process, and navigating communication with your ex-spouse can feel like stepping into a minefield. In our latest episode of We Chat Divorce podcast, we spoke with Cherie Morris, a divorce coach and parent coordinator, about practical tools that can help you stay in your lane and avoid unnecessary conflict. Whether you’re in the thick of divorce or working on co-parenting post-divorce, these tools can be a game-changer.
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Why Communication Breaks Down
Cherie’s own experience with a high-conflict divorce led her to develop a framework for helping couples communicate more effectively. “People often think that once the romantic relationship ends, the conflict ends too,” she explains. “But if you have kids together, you’ll likely be communicating more than ever.”
The BIFF Method
One of Cherie’s go-to tools is the BIFF method: Brief, Informative, Friendly, and Firm. This communication style helps minimize emotional escalation by focusing on the facts and setting clear boundaries. “Instead of saying, ‘You never respond to my messages on time,’ try something like, ‘I haven’t seen the document in the portal yet, can you confirm when you uploaded it?’ This slight shift in tone makes a world of difference.”
Couples Coaching: A Unique Solution
Cherie also offers couples coaching, which provides a neutral space for divorcing couples to discuss tough topics, such as dividing assets or creating a parenting plan. Coaching allows both parties to be heard, and facilitates collaboration in a way that litigation often cannot. “It’s about creating a new relationship, even as your romantic relationship ends,” Cherie says.
Moving Forward with Confidence
As Cherie reminds us, staying in your lane during divorce means focusing on what you can control and letting go of the rest. Whether you’re managing co-parenting schedules or working through financial disputes, effective communication is key. With the right tools and support, you can move through your divorce with more ease and clarity.
For more tips and to learn about Cherie’s Co-Parenting Compass Course, visit DearDivorceCoach.com
