5 Things You Need to Know to Survive and Thrive During and After a Divorce

This interview was originally posted on February 4, 2021 by Authority Magazine.

What if I told you there are two women who have combined their professional experiences in the legal and financial world to make your life easier? What if I told you they both went through their own divorce and have walked in your shoes? Now, what if I told you these ladies can erase the confusion and frustration you have been facing during the divorce process and can take you to the finish line with ease? Behold, Karen Chellew and Catherine Shanahan! They are the creators of “My Divorce Solution,” a Pennsylvania firm designed to simplify how to get and recoup the money you are owed from your divorce and invest it wisely.

Ilyssa Panitz:
How did “My Divorce Solution” come to be?

Karen Chellew:
Well first my partner Catherine and I have both been through a painful and litigious divorce process. I was 29, married ten years with two small children. I was afraid and second guessed myself at every turn. I felt lonely and ill-prepared for the emotions and constant daily decisions that needed to be made. Even though I worked in the legal field and had access to the best attorneys in my county, I lacked financial clarity and the ability to financially plan for my life after divorce.

Catherine Shanahan:
I was 44 years old, married 20-years, with two children, three stepchildren and two dogs. I could not believe I was going to get a divorce. At that point, I knew things would not change in my marriage and that although I was confused and scared, I decided that I would rather be single and lonely than married and lonely. Karen and I were introduced to each other through a mutual colleague who was aware of each of our passion and commitment to helping women and know everyone make financially smart decisions as they navigate divorce. When Karen and I met we both agreed that the divorce process was archaic and damaging to families. We immediately joined forces in 2016 utilizing my financial background and CDFA certification and Karen’s experience in the legal industry to take on a failed system, which has left couples and families in emotional and financial ruin. Our commitment and passion is to help preserve the family unit and offer a solution that allows folks to move forward with financial confidence, dignity, and integrity beyond the divorce process. Three websites later and a unique and systematic and efficient streamlined process, we are now a national company helping hundreds of people navigate the divorce process. We were honored to be recognized by, “The Philadelphia Business Journal” as one of the largest women owned businesses in Philadelphia in 2020.

Ilyssa Panitz:
You felt there was a big disconnect between the legal and financial world, which needs to work hand-in-hand when you are going through a divorce. Explain how your firm bridges the gap?

Karen Chellew:
The MDS Financial Portrait bridges the gap by integrating financial assessment with the legal document requirements. Our clients are able to enter or continue the divorce process with a roadmap that has the financial analysis, along with the documentation to support the financial findings. If the client(s) have been referred by a professional or they have retained a mediator or attorney, we offer to participate in a consult with the professional to review the portrait and answer any questions that the professional may have.

Ilyssa Panitz:
Can you take me from start to finish after a client signs up?

Karen Chellew:
Sure. When a client engages our services after taking online quiz or after an initial consultation if they are referred directly by their attorney or mediator or another divorce professional. A client is introduced to the team and lead advisor and the journey begins. Moving at the client’s pace, financial data and documents are uploaded into a secure client portal and assessed by their assigned team of professionals. During their work with us, the client has access to their team for questions and assistance to gather and upload their financial data and documentation. The client(s) also participate two reviews with the CDFA to discuss the financial findings prior to the final Portrait being delivered.

Ilyssa Panitz:
How long does this process take?

Karen Chellew:
We work with the client(s) at their own pace, but our process allows for completion in less than two months if the client(s) so desire.

Ilyssa Panitz:
Is doing something like this expensive?

Karen Chellew:
The MDS Financial Portrait is a single flat fee based on algorithms specific to the complexity of the clients’ financial estate. This product provides each client with predictable costs and the highest quality service. The average case involves about twenty hours of assessment and analysis by the MDS Team. Extra charges may apply for business evaluations, real estate appraisals, unique asset evaluations, and legal liaison services. This portrait is the single best investment a client or couple can make when considering divorce.

Ilyssa Panitz:
What if a client does not have copies of their household records and bills because their spouse oversaw the money and monthly invoices. Do you help the client track these down?

Karen Chellew:
Yes, we do! We have many tools and resources to assist clients with collecting the relevant and critical documents needed to assess their marital estate

Ilyssa Panitz:
When you are going through a divorce, you must fill out a statement of net worth, which paints a picture of your assets, debts, spending habits and your annual income. Do you assist clients in preparing this document?

Karen Chellew:
Yes, assistance with the preparation and completion of the State specific financial disclosure is a component of the MDS Financial Portrait

Ilyssa Panitz:
Why is a statement of net worth essential during a divorce process?

Catherine Shanahan:
Many couples and professionals utilize a statement of net worth when dividing their marital estate. The MDS Portrait goes far beyond a statement of net worth because a statement of net worth does not account for key assumptions and/or specific considerations specific to the various components of the marital estate. Our unique process of coordinating data, documents, and analysis, delivering the framework to make smart financial decisions goes well beyond a simple net worth statement.

Ilyssa Panitz:
What are some of the road blocks you face and how do you get around them to get a positive outcome for your clients?

Catherine Shanahan:
Our biggest roadblock is the roadblock of potential clients understanding that they are not duplicating their work with their professional when using our service. To get around this we ask these questions? Have you been provided access and are you aware of all the components that comprise your marital estate? Have these documents been interpreted for you in a way that you are able to understand your options and are able to confidently compromise to a successful settlement? If they are not able to answer yes to these questions, then our value becomes very apparent and clear.

Karen Chellew:
Unfortunately, many people think they have or will be able to answer yes, to these questions, but what they do not realize is they will not be able to do so until they are well into the process having spent thousands of dollars. It is okay. We can still help. It is just advisable to have this information before starting the divorce journey.

Ilyssa Panitz:
Do you find women are not as savvy when it comes to the money and financials?

Catherine Shanahan:
Quite the opposite, we find that women are very savvy when it comes to financials and money. It is just that they tend to be more emotionally connected and tagged as being “not savvy.” The truth is that in the majority of marriages in the United States, women have not been given the opportunity to be a true partner in the management and planning of the household finances.

Ilyssa Panitz:
How do you ease them into this part of the divorce and encourage them to learn everything they can?

Catherine Shanahan:
One step at a time. Our unique process breaks everything down into manageable steps to allow for ease while gaining the clarity they need throughout the process. Why would you start the divorce process not knowing what you have and what you want? Many people start the process only knowing what they want from an emotional perspective and not a financial perspective.

Ilyssa Panitz:
Why is your approach to divorce different and why does it work to a client’s advantage?

Karen Chellew:
Historically, a divorce is started at the attorney’s office with the filing of a divorce complaint. Our process starts with gaining financial clarity so that if and when a person chooses to move forward, they know exactly how their divorce will play forward and can confidently let their divorce professionals know what they have and what they need.

Ilyssa Panitz:
How do you put a client’s mind at ease, especially when they might have unrealistic expectations of what their financial outcome may look like?

Catherine Shanahan:
We focus on the knowns and not on the unknowns. Working through the portrait with our clients gives them a judgment free space to focus on the data and documents instead of resorting to fear and anxiety.

Karen Chellew:
So many clients are intimidated by their attorneys because they do not understand the legal terminology being used and do not feel they can talk about their case in an effective manner.

Ilyssa Panitz:
Do you work with the client’s lawyer during this procedure?

Karen Chellew:
Yes, we do. We are able to bridge the work the client has completed with us over to the professional they will be using to advocate and/or complete the process for them.

Ilyssa Panitz:
Is it more cost effective for you to speak with the lawyers since you understand the process and language of divorce, which tends to be foreign to people?

Karen Chellew:
Yes absolutely. It is important that the client(s) experience a smooth transition from one professional to another on their behalf.

Ilyssa Panitz:
Divorces can be costly and drain your savings. Do you help clients structure a “divorce” budget as well as a “post-divorce” budget?

Karen Chellew:
Yes, we do. We work with clients to develop these budgets so that they can confidently transition to the CEO of their new life.

Ilyssa Panitz:
One of the biggest fears people have, I am going to be left penniless. Why is this statement not true?

Catherine Shanahan:
Let’s define penniless. Will their lives be different than when they were married? Yes, of course it will. This is why it is so important to have financial clarity. With the good or the bad, it is important to move forward in a positive direction. What is most important is that a person has financial clarity to make the decision to stay or go, or sometimes to further their career, and it is not uncommon for one to learn that they will have more money accessible to them than they did during their marriage.

Ilyssa Panitz:
Can you layout a blueprint of what their new life might look like?

Catherine Shanahan:
Financially speaking, yes that is what we do. The MDS Financial Portrait (a/k/a, the blueprint) provided to our clients is a standalone document that can take them into their estate planning and allows them to have a rock-solid foundation for their future financial planning needs. One of the most inspirational feeling is when we see clients empower themselves with this new outlook on their financial future.

Ilyssa Panitz:
Where can clients cut corners and by doing so, how much can they save?

Karen Chellew:
Yes, it is not about cutting corners, it is about making smart financial decisions. We help clients spend money wisely with intention and goals. This is all completed in the budget work we do with them. This is one of the reasons divorce professionals like working with us and that is because our clients are informed and focused and have thought through the costs of finalizing their divorce.

Ilyssa Panitz:
Why should they not see this as defeat but rather winning?

Catherine Shanahan:
When I got divorced, my motto was to make the rest of my life the best of my life. I quickly realized that divorce was a part of my story and not my entire story. This gave me the opportunity to live the life I always dreamed of living. It is not always easy, but nothing good is always easy

Karen Chellew:
It is not defeat or winning in my books. It is about taking the steps to know what you want, your truth, and taking the necessary steps in that direction.

Ilyssa Panitz:
What are 5 things you would advise someone to survive and thrive during and after a divorce?

Karen Chellew:
One: Access: Make sure you are able to access all the financial data that comprises your marital estate.

Two: Components: Make sure you have a clear understanding of the data and documents that make up your marital estate. It is different for everyone.

Three: Interpretation: Take the necessary steps to make sure you understand how each component plays into your marital estate. For example, a home is a different sort of asset than a retirement plan, which is different from an annuity and so on and so forth.

Four: Options: Know your options as it relates to your overall marital estate and your needs from a cash flow/tax consequence and retirement perspective. Be clear on all the different scenarios that may be available to you before you begin negotiations and certainly before you sign any agreement.

Five: Compromise: Realize that both parties will need to compromise in divorce. If you do not know your options, you will not be able to confidently compromise to a successful settlement. One of the worst things we hear from our clients who hire us midway or late in their divorce process is that they wish they would have worked with us much sooner than they did.