135. Second Chances: Navigating Love and Finances After Divorce
In this insightful episode, Karen and Catherine are joined by dating and relationship expert Bela Gandhi to explore the world of second chances in love and finances after divorce. Bela shares her expertise on how to approach dating with confidence, avoid common pitfalls, and prioritize emotional and financial well-being. Together, they discuss how to rebuild after divorce, recognize red flags in relationships, and navigate the financial implications of dating during and after divorce.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- Why second chances in love and finances are empowering after divorce.
- Common red flags to watch for in new relationships.
- The financial risks of dating during divorce and how to protect yourself.
- How Smart Dating Academy’s “pink sparkly bubble wrap” approach supports clients through dating.
- Why understanding your role in past relationships is key to finding a healthy partnership.
- How to set healthy dating boundaries and protect your financial information.
- Tips for safe and effective online dating.
- How optimism and self-reflection pave the way for successful relationships.
Subscribe to We Chat Divorce for expert advice on navigating divorce with clarity and confidence.
🎧 Available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube or anywhere you listen to podcast
Bela’s Links
- https://www.smartdatingacademy.com/
- https://www.instagram.com/smartdatingacademy/
- https://www.youtube.com/user/smartdatingacademy
- https://www.facebook.com/smartdatingacademy
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Resources Mentioned
About My Divorce Solution
We Chat Divorce is produced by My Divorce Solution (MDS) — a financial divorce preparation company dedicated to helping individuals navigate divorce with clarity, confidence, and a strategic financial plan. Founded by Karen Chellew, Legal Liaison, and Catherine Shanahan, Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA), MDS was created to solve one of the most common and costly mistakes in divorce: entering the legal process without fully understanding your financial picture.
Divorce is not just a legal event — it is a financial transition that can shape your long-term security. Through the MDS Divorce Financial Portrait™, clients receive expert financial analysis, organized financial disclosures, and scenario planning to understand how different settlement decisions impact their future. This financial preparation often reduces legal fees, shortens the divorce process, and helps individuals negotiate from a position of knowledge rather than fear.
If you are considering divorce or already in the process, you can begin by taking the Free Divorce Financial Assessment to better understand your options. You can also join the MDS Community for expert guidance, educational resources, and live Q&A events designed to help you move from uncertainty to clarity.
At My Divorce Solution, the mission is simple: replace fear with knowledge so you can make informed, confident financial decisions during divorce.
Episode Transcript
0:01
Welcome to WeChat Divorce, hosted by Karen Chalou, Legal Liaison and Catherine Shanahan, CDFA.
Each episode we sit down with divorce professionals and industry experts to provide insights and frank discussions about real people, real situations, and real divorce to help you achieve your best life post divorce.
0:39
Welcome to WeChat Divorce, brought to you by My Divorce Solution and hosted by myself, Karen Shalu, Legal Liaison, and Catherine Shanahan, Divorce Financial Specialist and CDFA.
Today we’ll be joined by Bella Gandhi, dating and relationship expert, to discuss second chances, navigating love and finances after divorce.
1:00
Oh my gosh, second chances.
I don’t know, some people need third or fourth or fifth chances, but I love second chances for so many things dating.
I know Bella will really hit the topic great on that.
You know, she has her red flags.
So I think when you have second chances, you should always listen to these red flags.
1:17
So I can’t wait to get into that conversation.
You know, Karen, a lot of times I say even second chances.
You know, it’s never too late to change your relationship with money, right?
So if you’re in a relationship right now and you don’t know if you’re heading for divorce or not, and you’re not handling the money, don’t be afraid to take a second chance on yourself and Start learning about the money.
1:38
So true, because you kind of have to extract yourself from your current relationship or your most recent relationship and then get an independent relationship with yourself and then somehow develop a new relationship with new dating partners and so forth, all while you’re trying to learn independence and confidence.
1:59
It’s not easy.
No, it’s really hard and it’s actually really scary, you know?
But listen, there’s no better than no better second chance, I don’t think than ever taking a chance on yourself.
And I hope that’s what we get out of this podcast more than anything.
Me too.
2:15
Well, let’s welcome our guest so we can really get into this important topic.
Bella, welcome to WeChat Divorce.
I’m so.
Excited.
Oh, I’m so excited to be here.
I was so excited that I started talking over you, so I’m so happy to be here.
That’s what you do when you’re.
2:34
Excited.
I just did the same thing.
We’re all excited, so it’s all good.
We’re all excited.
It’s almost Valentine’s Day, so this will be a great way to celebrate yourself, if anything.
2:51
That’s right, we’re so worth celebrating.
Totally a. 100% and our topic today is second chances, navigating love and finances after divorce.
So don’t let the finances scare you because you’re going to get empowered.
Bella’s a wonderful person, but let me first introduce you to Bella.
3:10
Bella Gande is a dating relationship expert, a TE DX speaker, founder, Smart Dating Academy and has been featured on most national local media outlets including Good Morning America, Steve Harvey, the the Today Show, Kelly Clarkson Access, ABCNBC, Fox, and more.
3:29
I feel like Bella when I turn the TV on, there you are.
I’ve seen you so many times.
I’m so sorry it’s.
Wonderful.
The work you’re doing is is great and very well recognized.
People want to see, I think there’s a real appetite to hear this kind of information because the census data says that 46.2% of Americans are single and unmarried.
3:57
So if you think about that, it’s almost half of us.
And for, you know, people that are in that Gray divorce arena where you’re divorcing over 50, the data shows there’s 35,000,000 singles over 50.
So there’s a lot.
4:12
So you’ll see me a lot.
You’ll hear me aloud trying to just give out this information to people to inspire them that no matter what kind of Hellfire you have walked through, that there is so much hope that love exists for every single person that wants it.
4:29
Yeah.
So that I guess that’s determined on what they want, right.
How do you determine what you want and what you need when you go through so much, especially divorce?
And then I, I’ll, I’ll love to hear your tips on that.
Yeah.
Yeah, absolutely.
So back to a little bit more about Bella.
4:47
After she graduated with dual degrees in Finance and German from the University of Illinois, Bella quickly climbed the corporate ladder and she had a feeling that her career would one day be taking a sharp turn in a different direction.
Because she discovered her love of matchmaking and providing dating advice.
5:05
She launched her Smart Dating Academy in 2009, and Smart Dating Academy has quickly become one of the nation’s top date coaching firms.
And Bella teaches busy, successful professionals to jump start their dating life successfully.
So that’s kind of what you were saying and that’s what you do every day.
5:24
That’s so wonderful.
So Bella, can you kind of elaborate a little bit on that as to, you know, that that that’s kind of an extraordinary pivot from the corporate letter ladder to dating coaching?
Yeah, So I discovered what I didn’t know back then was like my gift.
5:44
I think we all have our gifts, right?
Like the things that we’re naturally really good at and should bring to the world and that we love to do.
So when I was in college, I started matchmaking people like yenta style, like, Oh my gosh, you need to date him.
He’s amazing.
6:00
And I think if you go out on one date with him, you’re going to marry him.
So I started to do that when I was very young.
I realized I had a system, I got myself out of a lot of red flag relationships and I realized that the common denominator and all of those was me.
6:18
So I devised my own little plan, which is now the smart dating system, which got me into dating someone very healthy who has now been my husband over 20 years.
So I continued to informally even when I was in the business world.
My first job was in the M and AI worked for Arthur Andersen.
6:36
Then I left there and joined my family’s manufacturing business, which we then sold to a Dutch multinational.
But all the while I was everybody’s dating advisor, dating coach for, and all of my friends are in great relationships, happy relationships.
And so I knew that somehow this is what I was supposed to be doing.
6:57
So in 2009, I took my leap and I started the company and started to extricate all of the things that are in my head into a process.
So what we have now is a system that I wish, and my goal someday is that we can all learn to do this when we’re in high school or college because there are tenants that if you follow, chances are you’re going to end up with someone really good for you long term.
7:25
You’re not actually matchmaking someone, you’re actually coaching them to pick the right person.
Or is that right?
Yeah.
If you think about what matchmakers do, they present you with candidates, right?
Everybody thinks they want a matchmaker because they don’t want to be on the apps because the apps feel overwhelming.
7:41
It’s like, oh, just show me where the good people are.
So a matchmaker is going to find someone who’s got some of the demographical things that you want, but a matchmaker isn’t going to have a crystal ball to tell you if somebody is relationship ready for a healthy relationship with you.
8:00
And that is what we help people to do.
So matchmaking is like give a, you know, give a man a fish and he eats for a meal, but we’re teaching people how to fish.
What’s the system?
So regardless of where the candidates come from, the matchmaker, you know, match.com, your sister setting you up with somebody, you meet somebody at a gala, it doesn’t matter Our system and us, we become the general contractor to the dating process.
8:26
So we’re helping our clients vet every single one of these people over an extended period of time to make sure that they have everything that you need to be happy and no red flags and that the attraction builds.
So that’s interesting.
So if somebody’s on these dating websites or they’re at a gala or they’re anywhere and they have candidates, you’re taking them and vetting them through those people by your work with the the individual.
8:52
You got it.
And that’s that.
What we’re doing in our one-on-one practice is very bespoke to each client.
We teach everybody the system.
Now what one person is going to have versus another is chalk and cheese.
It’s completely different.
9:07
So we’re in people’s inboxes with them on the apps looking at people going, oh, yuck.
This one is total red flag.
Let’s get rid of this one.
But I like this person’s smile.
He’s got a kind face.
I like what he says in his profile.
Let’s message him this and then we help people to get to the first date, the 5th date, the 12th date, you know, and so on and then into a committed exclusive relationship.
9:31
And then they move to phase two, which is exclusivity this.
Is a great system, you know, and it’s great because a lot of people, we have a lot of people coming through the divorce process and you know, we handle the finances right and they’re really insecure and they think they just want somebody again to take over.
9:50
And we really, you know, we believe that second chances for me in our industry and what we do is it’s never too late to start a new relationship with money and how you deal with your money.
But they’re great candidates for you because they’re so prone to go pick the wrong person for security purposes, which is why divorce rates are higher the 2nd and even the third time around.
10:13
No, it’s so true.
Like when you’re prioritizing the things that don’t really matter long term for your happiness, your mental health, your partnership, all the money in the world isn’t going to solve that.
So.
So let’s talk about.
That So what are some things people should do when they’re beginning to date after divorce?
10:32
Well, I would say learn a system so that you don’t end up in that second divorce rate.
The the divorce rate for first marriages, you know, it’s 40 to 50%, depending on what source you rely on.
When people try it again and they get married again, that divorce rate is 67% and those numbers just get worse.
10:53
For 3rd divorces, it’s 74%.
So what should you do when you come out of divorce?
You should really understand God, what just happened, right?
And it’s always, we can tend to play the victim, right?
And well, he did this or she did this and, and, but ultimately, what was your part in this?
11:12
What did you accept maybe from the beginning that you shouldn’t?
Did you ignore red flags, right?
Did you go along with it?
So I think some real introspection is super important versus just running out there and saying, well, you know, my ex was a terrible person and I know what a good person is because I’ve been through therapy and I know what a narcissist is.
11:35
It doesn’t matter.
Knowledge people say, erroneously say, in my opinion, that knowledge is power.
Execution is power, Doing the right thing at the right time is power.
You can have all the knowledge in the world and still humans tend to do what’s comfortable for them versus what’s.
11:55
Right.
Oh, true.
And Bella, you said something very interesting.
You said when you’re, when you’re coming out of the, of a divorce, I would venture to say that there’s a fairly high percentage of people that are looking to date during the divorce and that can prove to be highly challenging in a lot of spaces.
12:18
So if you can talk about it on the dating side, we can talk or Catherine can talk a little bit about it on the financial processing, divorce side.
Yeah, I, you know, I’m certainly going to have a different viewpoint on this than a divorce attorney and, and I I now know enough after 15 years of what the consequences can be from my vantage point at Smart Dating Academy.
12:46
If you have processed your divorce, if you have healed from the anger, the bitterness, you know your part, you know what you’re looking for.
There’s no right amount of time that you need to wait to start to date, right?
And now there’s many people that will disagree with that.
13:03
I’m like, look, people have been in loveless sexless marriages for decades, right?
And so you don’t need to wait another three years because somebody told you that to get out there and date.
You’ll know when you’re ready if the thought of dating truly makes you excited where you’re looking like Oh my gosh, I would love a healthy happy partnership again versus it being revenge dating.
13:30
I think you’re ready to date.
I would love for you to learn our system so that we can keep you out of that divorce rate.
We’ve had 0 divorces of clients that have followed our system over the last 15 years, so it’s.
Not.
It’s not not easy.
13:46
Yeah, you know, you bring up a good point and we’re we’re probably, you know, I’m not an attorney, I’m just a financial.
So what happens?
But I’ve negotiated hundreds of cases and mediated hundreds of cases.
But the problem is, is when you’re revenge dating like you mentioned, or you’re not really ready and you dating to I don’t, maybe that is revenge dating, you know, just to feel better, but to get the other side jealous.
14:09
Or that’s where it backfires because you’re losing negotiation power, right?
So you don’t, it’s going to be a tit for a tat.
It doesn’t help you.
So if you’re if you’re truly ready to date, you don’t need to put it on your social media.
You don’t need to do it to disrupt anything that’s happening during your process.
14:27
You could do it quietly, right?
It’s just the people that are putting it out there to the world.
When your partner who you’re divorcing is maybe not ready to see that and now decides to extend their divorce process much longer, it becomes a costly net effect to you.
14:44
So it’s just the matter the manner in which you handle yourself.
And I think that probably your your process, although I’ve never seen it, maybe I need to use it.
I’m entering into my second divorce, which I’ve never really announced until right now, but that process probably helps them to manage it a lot better so that they’re not putting it out there to disrupt their negotiations.
15:07
Yeah, absolutely.
And I think that there’s a way to do this.
And, you know, sometimes people get skittish about, Oh my gosh, I don’t want my ex to see me on the apps.
I’m like, the only way your ex is going to see you on the apps is if they get on the app, they pay for it, and they’re trying to find you at that point.
15:22
But yeah, it’s online dating can be pretty discreet because it’s hard.
You can’t just Google somebody and find out if they’re on a dating app.
So they really have to put in some muscle to try to find you.
But ideally you and your ex, you know, I’m not saying you, but like anybody listening and your ex, you’re on the same page about this, right?
15:44
I have many people that are going through divorce.
They’re like, he’s dating and I’m dating and we’re both totally fine with that.
And so it really depends couple to couple how this is going to work.
But I’ve had many people that are surreptitiously dating on the apps or they don’t feel comfortable being on the apps because they don’t want to be seen on a dating app during their divorce.
16:06
Then they’re out and about trying to meet people in real life.
So there’s always options when you want to do something.
That’s so true it made me think of, you know, people going through divorce, especially the stay at home mom who now probably might need probably or might need a job post divorce.
16:24
But their attorneys will say don’t get the job now because you’ll get less than alimony.
But yet if getting the job makes you feel better that you can move forward with your life and thrive afterwards, it’s hard to say don’t get the job right.
So it’s the same thing here.
16:40
Do do you stop living?
And you know, you also brought up another really good point because a lot of times people like to judge people who’ve gone through divorce and say, Oh my gosh, how could she date someone again?
Or Oh my gosh, how come he’s getting married so quickly again?
You know, back or forth.
We all like to judge what we think we see.
16:55
But they could have sexless marriage for years.
There’s so many people that live in separate rooms.
They’ve already disconnected from that relationship so that by the time that they legally do that, they’re they are ready, they’re ready.
You just don’t see that whole process that they went through.
17:11
Yeah, it’s so true, right?
And so that’s our PSA to everybody is don’t judge, right?
If somebody’s divorce isn’t final, that’s OK.
That doesn’t make them a bad person.
It’s the same thing people do sometimes when we lose a spouse, right?
17:27
It’s like, oh, how is he dating six months after his wife passed?
It’s like there’s no set grieving period, right?
And certain people are ready to date and they don’t want to be alone and all we can do is support them.
That’s 100% true.
17:44
And in some states, I’m just going to put this qualifier out there.
In some states, more more likely the southern states, you do have to understand financial implications if there’s API against you.
You know, we had a client that she went in to her boyfriend’s house, I think an hour or two and they tagged that it was long enough to compromise the cohabitation rule and her support was immediately discontinued.
18:14
So you do need to be aware of financial implications in certain states.
Now that was extreme, but it it did happen.
So, you know, that’s kind of where we come from sometimes.
Just be careful and understand if you are going to be entering the dating world during the divorce process so you understand any financial implications.
18:35
Yeah, 100%.
And the implications of if your ex does find out that you’re dating, right, is it going to prolong the divorce?
Is it going to be more acrimonious, right.
Are you going to get less or have to give more, whatever it is.
But yeah, you have to really take into account a lot of a lot of things in your situation.
18:55
Absolutely.
To show everybody one of the things I love about oh, Karen, I don’t know if I was interrupting, but you know, when I hear Bella, when I hear Bella, I always think of my red flag.
Hold up that red flag that you have because I think this is such a great I’m a mind, you know, I’m a visual person.
19:11
So you know, I see that now, although I didn’t pay attention to red flags.
Now that I have that visual in my head, it’s easy to kind of remember, oh, red flag is is waving in front of me.
What are some red flags that you see a lot?
You know, I think when somebody is mean to other people but nice to you, that’s a red flag.
19:35
It’s only a matter of time before that’s going to come out on you, right?
If somebody is abrasive with their family and you hear them on the phone, take note of that, right?
If something mean to the wait staff, right, the all of these things are harbingers of things to come.
19:55
If somebody’s very negative, if they’re controlling, right, they they have, it’s their way or the highway even from the beginning.
And sometimes as women, we think, oh, you know what, that’s great.
He’s a man with the plan.
He’s take charge, right?
He ordered for us.
20:11
And you just have to be careful that this isn’t someone who’s going to want to control your every move.
It’s true.
Do you have any other red flags?
We have listed them at smart Dating, phases of dating and things that are going to come out.
20:28
But I think, you know, one of the things is when somebody wants to move too fast, right?
It can be a red flag.
So we might think to ourselves, well, geez, maybe I’m the red flag because I always move really fast, slow things down.
And if somebody doesn’t respond to your bid to slow things down, and of course you’ll do it with, you know, coming from a place of love, like, hey, I’m a slow burn.
20:49
You know, I’m not.
I love that you offered to cook me dinner, John.
But you know what, I would.
How about we go and check out that new restaurant down the street and maybe we can talk about you cooking me dinner later, right?
Everything is in how that person and responds.
If he’s like, absolutely, I want to take this at your pace, that’s great.
21:08
He doesn’t get red flagged just for asking.
But then if he freaks out and he’s like, well, what do you mean?
Do you not trust me?
Do you think I’m like a stalker?
It’s like, oh, OK, if you find yourself backed into a corner, that is a red flag.
It’s how somebody responds to you saying, OK, I would prefer to do this.
21:28
Let’s talk about some financial red flags.
You know, a lot of times women coming through our process, we have a mostly high net worth clientele and they either immediately want to pay for themselves or they immediately just want somebody else to pay for them.
21:43
Or they want to share all their information like what they received from their agreement with their spouse or what they’re receiving an alimony or spousal support.
And I feel like that is not a really secure, secure path to take.
How do you approach the financial aspect to dating after divorce or anytime basically in life I.
22:02
Think let’s start with the tenant of people need to earn your story.
They don’t get it upfront for asking or for being on a date with you.
So for you to feel like while I want to be honest, I should disclose what I have in my settlement and how that all worked.
22:20
Have they earned your story?
I don’t think so, right?
That’s a personal thing.
We don’t need to put everything out there right away.
It’s like we all walk around with a suitcase of stuff.
You want to unpack the suitcase slowly, right?
22:37
And the more personal, more vulnerable things are at the bottom of the suitcase.
So those come out last.
So I start out with that now.
So no, don’t disclose that stuff right away.
It’s nobody’s business but your own with regards to, you know, knowing.
22:52
Well, I’ve got a lot of money, so let me just cover this for no, you know, what you can do on dates is offer to share, offer to split the bill.
That’s what I tell everybody to do, regardless of how much money you have, right?
Whether you’re the one with the money or you’re, you know, you’re the one who’s hoping somebody’s going to pay for you.
23:10
Offer to share.
People are looking for partners today.
They’re not looking for someone to take care of.
I like that.
And then you can decide how to handle it.
However, if it feels to you right, yeah, and.
If somebody says no, no, let me get the check.
23:26
I it would give me pleasure.
You can say, wow, OK, thank you.
That’s so generous and, you know, make sure you get it next time or you split it next time.
But I very much like I like offering if someone doesn’t allow you to pay.
23:42
And this is especially, you know, for heteronormative relationships.
If you’re the woman and the guy will always say no, no, no, let me get it.
It feels really good to our XX chromosomes because we feel like, right, evolutionarily, OK, he can protect and provide, but I would say always offer because they were looking, yeah.
24:03
That’s good, so.
Bella you.
Mentioned a little bit ago about the apps for dating.
What?
What do?
You consider the best ways to meet people?
I think there’s.
Three candidate pipelines, Karen right, meeting the you can meet people through apps number one.
24:21
The second pipeline is you can meet them in real life, at work, at the gym, at a gala, on a plane, whatever.
And then pipeline #3 is starting to get people in your life to set you up on dates.
So those are the three ways to meet people.
24:40
Now what do I think is the best way?
I don’t think that there’s a best way.
We’re looking for one lid to your pot and where they come from.
To me, it’s irrelevant.
Where are you going to get maximum deal flow?
It’s through using the apps.
24:56
And if you decide you don’t want to use the apps, then you’re going to have a really slow deal flow.
I like how you say that your deal flow.
I never heard that former.
Former M and a person here.
I like that.
That’s really great.
25:13
All right, this is good.
Wait, did you have another question, Catherine?
I mean, I could.
Talk to you forever, obviously about all this, but I would like to know what is the success pinpoint of your, your process?
Like what is what is the hardest part for someone to initiate and accept and then to move through your process?
25:35
You know, because like you said, when people get divorced, they want to blame my ex was this, my ex was that, But what about me?
We, you know, it’s too, we all have something, right?
So what do people have to get over about themselves to actually adapt what you’re actually teaching them to do to to get to that successful relationship?
25:53
I think we get a.
Self selecting cohort Catherine of people that want to do things differently, they don’t want to end up in the next statistic.
So they’re very grateful for a system, They’re grateful to be coached, so they’re happy with that.
I think for our clients in particular, sometimes the bigger pain point, or it’s not a pain point, but it’s more the trepidation of Oh my gosh, I’m going to have to use an app and put photos up and like be out in the wild and like have all these, you know, where it feels like human eBay.
26:29
I think that for women coming out of divorce sometimes, especially women of higher net worth, like that becomes, it becomes a very like, Oh God, who’s out there?
I don’t know what I’m going to see.
So that’s probably one of the things that we really put a lot of bubble wrap around our clients around.
26:48
Like we’re going to keep you safe through this process.
Don’t worry, you’re we’re going to get good photos.
You’re going to have great photos, so you start attracting good people, but those are going to be photos that don’t reside on other places on the Internet.
So people can’t take that photo, reverse image search it and find you.
27:03
So we have a whole, like I’m saying we have a whole system to keep people safe.
But I think that’s one of the things that becomes very hard for people to reconcile is well, I can’t just meet people the old fashioned way.
I’m like, what is the old fashioned way?
27:18
Right?
It’s we’re romanticizing life in college or maybe in our 20s where almost everybody was single.
But when you’re 40506070, right?
It doesn’t matter pre Internet or post Internet, right?
If you think about what people used to say, right, if you were over 40 and single 40 years ago, you were an old mate, you were a spinster.
27:41
What were your odds of meeting somebody?
We don’t use those words anymore, right?
I can go into a store and the sales clerk will ask me, oh, what do you do for work?
Oh, I run Smart dating Academy.
Oh my gosh, my 82 year old aunt just met someone on Jade.
27:58
That couldn’t happen 40 years ago.
So the world, when you look at all of the options from a place of positivity.
I’m known for being called the psychotic optimist.
It’s like love is coming to everybody who wants it.
You good things can happen.
28:15
Yeah, I like.
That optimism absolutely.
And you know, we have a lot of women who are thinking divorce when they call us and one of their fears is sometimes not financial because they know they’ll be OK.
Like I said, we’ve gone through their financials and they’re confident there, but it is that Oh my gosh, I’m 60, I’m going to be alone for the rest of my life.
28:33
They feel like they’re so old that they rather just stay in something than to go on for their freedom of not only financial but just emotional.
They’re just afraid to be left alone and not be they think they’re too old.
You know what that’s.
Called it’s the S word.
It’s settling.
You are settling for a life that isn’t juicy, that doesn’t make you happy because you think you’ve got that negative lens on.
28:57
I have had 73 year olds get married through our process.
It is never too early, and it’s certainly never too late to do this.
To that where?
So where are you?
Are you national?
You can help everyone.
29:13
Nationally, we have clients.
All over the United States and in Europe.
Great.
Wow.
That’s awesome, Bella.
I love that you have red flags and I love even more that you have bubble wrap for sure.
29:28
It’s pink, sparkly.
Bubble wrap.
It’s pretty bubble wrap that would come in a pretty package and we wrap people.
It’s like when you learn a system and then you have personal guides walking you through it week by week.
We are the pink sparkly bubble wrap.
29:44
It’s like we’re going to teach you the system and then we’re going to make sure that you don’t end up with someone that has the dreadful red flags.
I tell people, if you’re listening to this dear listener and you’re like, my God, I’m going through a divorce.
So many people are like, oh, just give it a try on your own, you know, and see what happens.
30:02
Don’t give it a try on your own.
Look what just happened.
A. 100% right.
You could get lucky or you could get unlucky.
That’s 5050 odds.
I don’t play 5050 odds in most places in my life, Do you?
30:18
Well, I’m a gambler.
But no, not in this.
Arena.
Not in this agree.
I agree.
Next time around for me, somebody’s got to do it for me.
But you know, in addition to your pink bubbly wrap, which I love because I love pink and what Karen said about your red flags, loving those, the cherry on the top for this for me is your optimism.
30:39
Because I believe that if you are not optimistic, and I feel like that even through our process, I love when our clients become optimistic about their new financial independence and, and determination and knowing what they have to do for themselves.
But even in life and in dating, you know, to find love or what have you, if you’re not optimistic and if you don’t open your heart to that and you don’t have somebody who’s optimistic around you, the negativity just drags people down.
31:04
So I love how optimistic you are and I love the results of your program.
You know, good for you for tackling this and and staying strong and putting the service out there for people.
Thank.
You I it.
I have an incredible amount of gratitude to be doing this work with people.
31:25
It’s so many of our clients are really successful and all of the other pie pieces of their life, right?
They have great friendships, many of them have great kids, they’re healthy, they work out, they have no financial issues.
But we get to come in on that pie piece of love, which is the most tender and vulnerable for people.
31:46
So, and that’s why I call it, you know, kind of sparkly bubble wrap as we realize how vulnerable people feel in this process.
And it’s a privilege we’ll never take lightly of walking with people through that.
That’s awesome.
And.
I thought of something else.
I told you I could talk to you forever.
32:02
Do you have mostly men or women?
And do you ever match up your clients when we?
Feel it we do.
We have men and women from all over.
It’s amazing, you know, and we’re always on a wait list for clients.
32:19
I think people that want date coaching, there’s so much good about them.
They believe in work, they believe in personal work, they believe in change and they believe in love and they believe that it can happen to them and they’re willing to do things differently and invest in themselves, right.
32:37
It’s like, you know, people will say like, oh wow, I have to pay for coaching to find love.
It’s like, how much did you pay for your divorce?
Jeez.
Yeah.
Right.
The financial.
Cost the emotional cost the collateral damage.
32:54
It’s like it’s a small insurance policy to have some fun and not make bad choices.
Yeah.
So if you’re listening to this, our take away now is.
Know the red?
Flags we know that you could be wrapped in bubble wrapped and protected and know that being optimistic and believing in love, you have an ability to get that no matter what.
33:15
And when you have your financial confidence, going through this process will make you feel even better.
And so if you have any concerns or fears about any of that, don’t don’t hesitate to reach out to us because we could always call Bella back in to solve those problems.
Absolutely, Bella.
33:31
How can our listeners and viewers learn more about you and getting on your wait list?
Yeah, so you can listen to my podcast if you want more information.
There’s over 150 episodes.
It’s called the Smart Dating Academy Podcast.
33:48
You can find it wherever you get your podcasts.
And this amazing podcast obviously is, you know, Karen and Catherine are the best.
But yeah, the Smart Dating Academy Podcast.
You can follow me on Instagram at Smart Dating Academy.
We post free tips every day.
34:04
And if you’re ready to really like take the plunge and find love and the thought of dating and a new live to your pot sounds exciting to you, then go to our website smartdatingacademy.com and we’ll tell you about how our services work.
34:20
And you can always schedule a consultation with me because I look at every person before they come into our practice to make sure that there’s good chemistry because we’re going to be in the weeds with you walking up.
Love mountain walking?
Up love mountain like that.
All right, this concludes this episode.
34:38
Second chances navigating love and finances after divorce.
Thank you again, Bella, for a great conversation.
Thank you for having.
Me thanks for.
Joining us on another episode of We Chat Divorce, we hope this episode was informative and supportive on your divorce journey.
34:55
If you're looking for more support for navigating divorce with confidence and clarity, head over to azure-emu-499854.hostingersite.com/ for more podcast episodes, divorce events, and resources for your divorce.
We’ll see you back here for our next episode.
Disclaimer:
The information provided in this podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and should not be considered financial or legal advice. Please consult with professionals in the relevant fields for personalized guidance.
The WeChat Divorce podcast (hereinafter referred to as the “WCD”) represents the opinions of Catherine Shanahan, Karen Chellew, and their guests to the show. WCD should not be considered professional or legal advice. The content here is for informational purposes only. Views and opinions expressed on WCD are our own and do not represent that of our places of work.
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