While a divorce can greatly affect you emotionally, it can also impact you financially. As you go through the divorce process, remember that the decisions you make now will have long-term effects on your future. As a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst, I’ve seen people make numerous mistakes as they went through a divorce, especially when they didn’t have the necessary information or tools beforehand. For the most part, the common divorce regrets divorcees end up having are avoidable when given the right information on how to navigate this life-changing process.

No. 1 Attorney Hopping

It’s bad enough that you have to retain an attorney with costs exceeding $30,000 in most cases. However, not hiring the right attorney at the outset is one of the most costly mistakes you’ll make during this process. Many divorcees who make this mistake entrusted the promises offered by an attorney only to find through the process that these promises could not be honored. After seeing what they wanted could not come to fruition, these divorcees changed attorneys, sometimes more than twice, throughout their divorce process!

Not only was this extremely costly, it delayed and prolonged the emotional process and left these divorcees with less than desirable financial results. There are key questions you can ask an attorney so you know you are choosing the right one the first time (I share some below). It’s important to remember your attorney is not your therapist. Save your emotional questions for a qualified counselor and rely on your attorney to protect your legal rights.

No. 2 Keeping the Family Residence

How does one lose $150,000? This is more common than you think. Choosing to keep the marital home and using your share of the marital assets, such as cash, to buy-out your spouse can prove detrimental to your financial future. You will get emotional about your home, but you have to set your emotions aside and consider the maintenance costs a home requires before deciding to keep the home.

Post-divorce budgets are frighteningly low when you see the maintenance and repair bills for a home over time. Be sure to weigh all the pros and cons of keeping the family residence and create a realistic budget if you do decide to keep your home.

No. 3 Forfeiting Your Right to Your Spouse’s Pension

Who would give up $850,000 in retirement security? People who don’t know the difference between marital and non-marital assets. A woman I worked with was told by her husband that he would never give her any portion of his pension. He said his pension was for his 25 years of work and, therefore, was his money. Knowing the difference between marital and non-marital assets is key to arriving at an equitable divorce settlement – and can affect how you live during retirement.

No. 4 Loss of Money, Self-Esteem, Clarity and Independence

This is the most costly mistake you can make. “I wish I knew you five years ago” or “I wish I knew you when I was going through my divorce.” This is what I hear all the time, even from strangers I meet. Not
having the right information or clarity when making very important financial decisions turns into making emotional choices that negatively impact you financially, emotionally and mentally. It’s normal and even necessary to process emotions during a divorce. However, it’s detrimental to use your emotions to make important financial decisions. Your divorce will be unique, so relying on other people’s experience of divorce is also unwise in making decisions during this very important time.